Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
