I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
