I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
