it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize