I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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