OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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