My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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