All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
