i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
