I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
