My first STD was from a foam party
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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