Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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