I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
