The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
