How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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