Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
