I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
try to milk me bitch
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize