shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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