Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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