whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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