Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
