am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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