we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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