no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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