party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
