Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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