Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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