i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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