I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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