Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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