She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
