I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
