She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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