I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
