Duck Duck Cougar?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
