I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Plan B is the new Plan A
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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