looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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