THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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