you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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