Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
