She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize