Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
