i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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