hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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