I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
