once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
