he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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