I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I look better un-naked...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
