he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
