His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
