she woke up with a sticky ear
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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