Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
