you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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