Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
