so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
