Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
