WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
im holly from the hills drunk
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
