you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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