i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
