No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
