you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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