The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
