I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
