the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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