There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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