O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
